I'd like to publicly say that I'd rather have my penis slowly burned off than to have to watch Magnolia again.

Corrupt LA cop investigates why his mistress was found flat like a pancake. They cause chaos w/ the nuclear program, and then almost get thrown out of a plane w/o parachutes by corrupt Army officers, who it turns out killed the mistress.

A spy from England ditches his job in America to stalk & seduce a female serial killer whom he watched murder his boss's son. Much traveling ensues. They both die. Makes perfect sense to me.

There's 6" tall blue satanic old people, a monster by a dumpster, a cowboy in the Mafia w/ no lips & Billy Ray Cyrus gets punched in the face. The main characters die and/or get pregnant, but you can't really tell which.

She does.

Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. Boom.